The Bang That Changed My Everything

Most organizations go through multiple leadership changes over time — my nursing home was no different. 

I’d weathered a lot of those leaders and changes over my 23 years there. Some were great, some not so much, but most were overpowered by years filled with laughter, die-hard relationships with my coworkers, and even the occasional prom with the residents.

I never thought a single word like centralization could rock my world the way it did. The concept makes sense, especially in large organizations — I get that. But for me, it meant losing my dream job. 

I couldn’t sign the new job description.
I couldn’t give up the quality side of my role and just stick to training.
In my world, those two things aren’t separate.
They are inherently woven together — with big buckets of compliance dumped in here and there.

I loved my job and the organization I grew up in.

It was the hardest decision I’ve ever made.

It was my BANG.

And now, here I am, trying to separate my identity from the only workplace I’ve ever known. 

It’s the memory of so many residents that keeps me grounded AND smiling through the emotional tears. Making Cheerios with exactly half a banana every morning, spiking a resident’s hair just to make him laugh, and holding the beautifully wrinkled hand of Mrs. G as life slipped peacefully away. 

These aren’t just memories — they’re the heartbeat of this calling. They’re the reason my whole career started.

People change your story when they walk through it — even if they’re only in it for a short time. Some for the good, some not so much. 

Through the grief, the anger, the feeling of being absolutely replaceable, I’m choosing to be thankful for my story as a CNA, following in the footsteps of my mom and grandma. The job is demanding and tough, physically and mentally, but also the most life fulfilling thing you could ever do.

I’m thankful for my mentors and coworkers – residents included (you know who you are). Everything I know about how great teams work comes from you.  I laugh as I think of our constant bickering, interrupting, and witty shots we made at each other.  My heart physically hurts knowing I won’t see your faces every day. 

And for the book that reshaped everything — Left of Bang by Patrick Van Horne — which now guides this new chapter.  I’ve always believed things happen for a reason and, for whatever reason, tucked at the end of a presentation on de-escalation was this book.

Now, I’m building something new. I’m offering trainings, workshops, and a fresh take on quality, training, and team awareness — all grounded in the proactive mindset of Left of Bang.

So I’ll be over here, stirring the pot (as usual), redefining my roadmap, and staying true to my core values: confidence, competence, and trust.

🖤 Cagney

Some of my favorite memories from the last 23 years.